* Let's hear Ted Cruz out!
* The author of Eat Pray Love should write a book about kittens called Eat Poop Play Pounce Sleep Purr.
* Hollywood's next James Bond should be... Helen Mirren! She can do anything! (Good idea: Hollywood's next James Bond should actually be either Lucy Liu or Jennifer Garner.)
* Turn away from the skid, just to see what happens.
* Sell everything you have, hock what you can't sell, and bet all the money on Jacksonville turning it around and winning Super Bowl XLVIII.
* It's time to give up on wind power and get serious about coal. Also, this whole "hybrid car" idea? It'll never work.
* Eat bacon every day, and avoid green vegetables and other foods which are green. They are a mind-control device used by the Green Party! Did you think it was a COINCIDENCE that so many vegans are always going on and on about wind power and solar power and yada yada yada?
* The teaching of "the arts," English, foreign languages, history, science, math, philosophy (apart from that contained within Christian theology) and civics must be halted in our public schools, because research has shown that education in those subjects breeds Communists. As far as private schools are concerned, they should get a certificate of approval from the Southern Baptist Convention or be shut down altogether.
* Horses must wear pants! No discussion! No discussion! Fountain Inn, South Carolina caved much too easily on this one!
* Smokers, take a stand! Anti-smoking regulations are just the thin edge of the wedge of tyranny. And besides, all those alleged "negative effects" have never been proven! Never! Shut up! Smoke everywhere you can, but especially concentrate on doing it wherever oxygen tanks are in use. You'll find a lot of smokers and ex-smokers there. Enjoy.
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